Date: Wed, 15 Sep 93 22:04:27 CDT From: Robert Dorsett Subject: Airplanes as operating systems (humor) Email Forwarded to me by a friend: Future planes run by various operating systems: DOS (Microsoft's Command Line): everybody pushes it till it glides, jumps on, and lets it coast till it skids... then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc. DOS w/QEMM (Quarterdeck's Expanded Memory option): same as DOS but with more leg room to push. Apple MAC: all the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, etc, look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without knowing, so just shut up. IBM's OS/2: to get on board you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines; then you have to fill out a form that states how you want your seating arrangement to be--whether it should have the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you are successful in getting on board and getting off the ground you have a wonderful, enjoyable trip... except for times when the rudder and flaps freeze stuck, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get your personal things in order before you crash. Microsoft Windows: nice colorful airport terminal, friendly stewards/stewardesses, easy access to a plane, uneventful takeoff.... then BOOM! you blow up without any warning whatsoever. Microsoft NT (Microsoft's latest announcement, based on OS/2): everyone sits on the runway and forms the outline of a plane, then they just sit there and go "PHHLLZZZSST" like they're flying. Unix (written in C): everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. Then they go out on the runway and piece it together, all the time arguing about what kind of plane they are building.